Attack of the Evil Pumpkin

The Evil Pumpkin Copyright © 2012 by Joe Martini

That pumpkin is creepy as hell. Go ahead and take another good look at it.

Joe Martini is kind of an asshole. He is also a genius. Everyone should have a friend like Joe Martini. Everything he tries to do, even the stupid shit, turns out okay. So when he comes up with something cool, like Stories of the Unknown, it turns out awesome!

When he asked me to write  a review for his entry, “The Evil Pumpkin,” I didn’t really have much choice since he had already published two of mine. You can check them out here if you’re interested. They’re fucking great.

Actually, I did have a choice. That’s another cool thing about Joe. I can tell him to fuck off and he will. So I read the story and of course it was a lot of fun so I agreed to write the review.

To me the story reads like a children’s picture book for adults. That’s my idea, Joe, so if you end up making any money on it, I want some. It just has that tone, but definitely do not read this story to your kids. Here is a quote…

“My name is da’ ishraxin thingiggin nob, but you can call me ishy. As with all demons I have three parents. The first being the devil himself, as his seed is a part of every demon created. The second was either a very fortunate female demon or a very unfortunate female demon, depending on her preferences. The third was a human male who was at the time possessed by the spirit of a dead voodoo priestess. Would you like me to describe for you in detail the mechanics of such a union or would you rather use your imagination?”

…pretty fucked up, right. So, no kids. What else do you want to know that would make you read the story? There is sarcasm. There is black magic. There are boobs (Don’t worry ladies, it is handled respectfully). Check it out here. Or don’t. I don’t care. If Joe’s story sells better than mine I will never hear the end of it. Fuck you in advance, Joe Martini. Asshole.

Eric

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Incomparable Mister Steve Vai

Steve Vai, Mill City Nights, Minneapolis, MN, September 26, 2012

Disclaimer: As you can see by viewing my previous post: Greatest Electric Guitar Players in the World, I am a fan of Steve Vai. I have been a fan for about 25 years, but don’t let that scare you away. That makes me one of the most qualified people to speak intelligently about his live show. Hear me out. I have listened to and enjoyed his studio recordings over the years so many times that I know them front to back, up and down and everything in between. Most of his songs are instrumentals and I can identify them and follow them as well as most people would sing along to a top 40 radio hit. Anyway, by all accounts, he is a virtuoso who has a achieved a complete mastery of his instrument. His skills as a musician are not in question.

The show was general admission, so we got there about an hour early and stood in line so that we could hopefully get close to the stage. It was a nice evening and it was fun chatting with the other fans who were waiting outside the venue. As a special bonus we could hear Steve warming up inside. “Is that Steve?” My friend Mike, who first introduced me to this guy’s music while we were in high school, asked. Steve always does a pre-show warm-up that guests who purchase a premium EVO package are able to attend. So, yes. That was Steve. This made the short wait seem even shorter and as you can see from my photos, we ended up front and center.

I have always wondered how well Steve’s polished, complicated, multi-layered recordings would translate to a live show. This is the first thing that impressed me about the performance. Not only was the live band able to faithfully render the intricate compositions, an amazing feat on it’s own, but they also managed to enhance the beauty of the original pieces by improvising and “jamming.”

The second thing that impressed me was the showmanship. Steve is a great judge of talent who typically surrounds himself with the best of the best and this line-up was no exception. Of particular interest to me was the addition of Grammy-nominated electric harp player (yes, you read that correctly) Deborah Henson-Conant, who played on Steve’s latest studio release The Story of Light and his opening act, Beverly McClellan, an amazing blues artist who is also featured on The Story of Light, and later joined Steve onstage to perform John the Revelator, from the album. Each member of the band was given an opportunity to showcase their particular skill-set and they all manage to make their moment in the spotlight interesting. Steve often takes advantage of these breaks to change outfits. The most intriguing of which was certainly the alien who emerged from back stage to perform The Ultra Zone…

Proof of alien life?

…complete with lasers and a faithful, working recreation of the guitar featured in the art work from the cover of the album of the same name. Awesome!

Over the course of the show, which lasted an amazing 3 hours and 20 minutes (including the short set by Beverly), Steve played a great mix of tunes that spanned his entire solo career. Some of the highlights for me were Call it Sleep from Flex-Able, his first solo recording, For the Love of God from Passion and Warfare and Frank from The Ultra Zone. Every song was entertaining and it was a lot of fun being so close. One of the things that made this especially cool is how Steve tries to connect with each member of his audience. He is constantly moving and trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible. There was more than one time while I was watching and enjoying the performance that he happened to look my way, into my eyes and I felt, for just a moment, an intimate connection to a person I greatly admire.

I could plainly see that Steve has a genuine passion for his music and I witnessed first hand his pure and simple desire to play and share his creations with others. I left the show feeling as if I had experienced not only the skill and craftsmanship of an amazing musician, but also the spirit of a great person. Steve told us near the beginning of the concert that his goal was to make sure everyone had a good time and left “feeling fucking great.” Mission accomplished, Sir. Mission accomplished.

Thank you and good night

Thank You, Martin Scorsese

I really love movies.  I love movies so much that I sit down and watch them all the time and I always believe that each one is going to be good, even though most of the time I am disappointed.  I still watch another one and believe with all my soul that this one is going to move me in some way.  Sometimes there is a good line or two.  Occasionally I am impressed by the camera work or special effects.  Once in a while there is a surprising twist.  Usually I am entertained, but I am often left unsatisfied.  Maybe that’s why I watch so many movies.  Maybe.  Or maybe it’s because once in a very great while the magic works.  I would like to thank Martin Scorsese and everyone else involved with the creation of Hugo.  Movies like that are a gift to people, like me, who still believe.

Life After Death?

The view from my hammock on Sanibel Island.  Heaven?

What happens when we die?  Do we go to heaven or hell?  Purgatory?  Nowhere?  Do we just cease to exist?  Does everything that we have seen, felt, learned just wink out of existence when our body is no longer able to maintain homeostasis.  I hope not, but what does that have to do with anything?

If there is a heaven, where is it and more importantly, what is it like?  Will my dog be there?  I hope so, but what about people who don’t like dogs?  Is there a different place for them?  Will I remember who I am?  What about the things I don’t care to remember yet are an integral part of my core being?

Maybe we just keep coming back.  I don’t remember being here before so that would mean either you start over every time and have no memory of previous visits, or it’s my first time.  This has been a lot of work so I really don’t want to start all over again.

There are generally two types of answers for these questions.  Here they are…

1) Religious people will give you an answer based on their particular brand of religion.  The only real difference between their answers will have to do with what is necessary for you to do in this life in order to achieve the best possible afterlife.  You can ask as many questions as you want to about the specifics of the journey and how they know these things to be true, but the end result will always be the same.  They can offer no proof or evidence whatsoever.  You must have faith.  Which means essentially you must believe in something even though there is no reason for you to do so…other than that you choose to.

2) Scientists would then seem to have the easier argument.  They will tell you that there is nothing after we die.  There is no God, no heaven.  This life is all you get so enjoy it while you can.  It is important to ask these people the same questions.  How do you know these things?  What proof or evidence is there?  At this point the answer is basically the same as the one that religion gives you.  You must not believe in something even though there is no reason for you not to do so…other than that you choose not to.

So, believe what you want to believe, but let me offer just one last thing to think about.  Do you think there are things that we do not know about the universe around us or is everything there is to know right here in front of us?  Have we ever, ever been right when we thought we had it all figured out?

Quantum Physics-Artist’s Representation

“Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.”

Niels Bohr (According to the internet, one of the most influential physicists of the 20th century.)

Top 10 Movies of All Time

I guess I better get something in here on movies.  Here are my favorites.  Like my list of favorite electric guitar players, these are in no particular order…

• The Godfather: All three (yep…even part 3).  The movies are based on the novel of the same name by Mario Puzo, who also co-wrote all three screenplays.  I recommend reading any of his books as well.
• Bladerunner: The “Final Cut” is the best, but I also recommend the original theatrical version, which includes Harrison Ford’s voice-over narration.  Even he thought the narration was lame, but I think it fits the noir style.  Also, the soundtrack by Vangelis is amazing.
• Star Wars: All six.  People love to make fun of these movies and pick on George Lucas.  Sometimes they are even right, but the amount of time, money and talent that went into these films is stunning and the final product is truly amazing.
• Rear Window: I am mesmerized every time I watch this one.  I love the intimate feel of the film, which works perfectly with the voyeuristic storyline.  Alfred Hitchcock made so many movies, by the time he passed away he had probably forgotten more about the craft than most filmmakers will ever dream of knowing.
• Indiana Jones: All four.  This is pure escapism entertainment at its best.  If you’re looking for a realistic portrayal of archaeology, watch the History Channel (disclaimer: programming on the History Channel may or may not be more realistic than these movies, but you get the idea). Who wouldn’t want to spend their time traveling the world, looking for ancient objects that more often than not end up being magical.  Also, you get to carry a pistol and a whip, be a cocky smart ass and kill bad guys, who are always easily recognized as the bad guys.
• The Big Lebowski: This movie is ridiculously funny. Please watch it.  Then watch it again because it gets funnier every time.  If you watch it and do not think it is funny, I am very sorry…you should stop reading this and seek medical attention.
• Alien: Sci-fi, horror and suspense directed by Ridley Scott.  The original stands alone as the best of the series.  The atmosphere and pacing of this movie is flawless.  If you like the look of it check out the artist who designed the alien species and a number of other elements, H.R. Giger.  The second one, directed by James Cameron, is not bad, but Bill Paxton’s character is so unbelievably annoying that I can no longer watch it.  The third one, directed by David Fincher, is populated with interesting characters and is closer to the pacing and tone of the original.  The fourth one, based on a screenplay by Joss Whedon, is…interesting.
• Lord of the Rings: All three.  The translation from print to screen of this beloved series is nothing short of amazing.  The story is engrossing from start to finish.  The groundbreaking special effects, particularly the creation of Gollum and the integration of this wholly animated character into the live action, are so perfectly realized that you can simply get lost in the magic that is Middle Earth.
• The Dark Knight: A perfect storm that is not likely to be duplicated any time soon.  This amazingly entertaining movie brings together a number of people at the top of their games.  Heath Ledger as the Joker, Christopher Nolan writing and directing and music by Hans Zimmer, to name a few.
• Gladiator: One more from Ridley Scott.  The story is thrilling and the acting is top-notch, but the reason this one makes my list is because I cry at the end every time.  Keep that little tidbit to yourself, if you wouldn’t mind.  Also, I love the battle sequence at the beginning and again, the score is flawless.  Who could be the composer here?  Oh…Hans Zimmer.  Very nice.

Well, that’s ten.  Actually, it’s technically 25, but hey, it’s my blog.  I love movies and could talk about them forever…I think I almost did.  Thanks for hanging on to the very end.  You get a special prize.

Eric

We Miss You Casey Sir Winks-A-Lot

Thanks for being such a good friend.

Thanks for meeting me at the door every time, even when it became difficult for you.

Thanks for staying sweet for your whole life.

Thanks for liking bubbles.

Thanks for making our lives so much better.

Thanks…

for so many things I cannot put into words…

and thanks for understanding anyway.

I miss you Casey and I will always love you.  I know you are probably busy now, but please meet me at the door one more time, when I get there.

Thank you, my beautiful boy,

Eric

“Do you think dogs will not be in heaven?  I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.”

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Greatest Electric Guitar Players in the World

This is just, like, my opinion, man, so if you disagree that’s okay, but it’s my list.  They are presented in no particular order because on any given day or even multiple times during the day, the order changes.  Well, here they are…

• Joe Satriani
• Steve Vai
• Brian May
• Kirk Hammett

That’s it.  Agree?  Disagree?  Leave a comment.

Thanks,

Eric

Hellraiser: Clive Barker is Back

I was pleasantly surprised to hear about the release of a brand new story in the Hellraiser universe written by the creator himself.  A comic book, in fact.  If you are not a comic book fan, I still suggest you read this one.  Clive Barker’s unique voice translates well to the medium in this adaptation.  I ordered my copy the first day it was available from Boom! Studios.  Apparently I am not the only fan as the issue sold out in three days.  Don’t worry, they made more.  There is also a free pdf prequel at the site if you want a taste before ordering.  It is very short and is useful only if you are the type of comic book reader (like me) who has to see the artwork inside before making a purchase.  If the 8 page storyline of the preview seems unimpressive, fear not.  The first issue is beautifully written and well worth the seven or so dollars (with shipping) and three-day wait.

While Clive Barker is most famous for his horror stories and films, the bulk of his writings fall under the category of fantasy, or perhaps more appropriately, the dark fantastique, in his own words.  His prose is beautiful and his vision is unflinchingly powerful.  Yes, it does incorporate some dark elements, but so too does life.  Perhaps this, more than anything else, goes to the core of his appeal; his talent at using his imagination to travel to and bring back extraordinary tales of wonderful, beautiful worlds which also contain horrible things.

Incidentally, Clive Barker never went away.  The headline refers to the fact that he has not contributed to the Hellraiser mythos since directing the first movie, which is based on his novella, The Hellbound Heart.  While he does not release as much material as some, he is a very prolific artist and you can be assured that anything he does release will be worth the wait.  He has a number of projects he is working on that I am very excited about.  Check out his website for more on this.

Thanks for reading,

Eric

Asshole of the Week

Denis Leary: Famous Asshole

 

I would like to apologize to everyone for the past week.  By everyone, I mean everyone who had the misfortune of having to interact with me in any way.  I was not a very nice person.  This includes, but is not limited to, my wife, my dog, my cat, my employees, my customers and probably a few people who had the nerve to be driving near me.

I feel much better now.

On the bright side, I did get my taxes done.  That was the least stressful part of my week.

Eric

Introducing Thombie

Thombie is a great new artist that is part of an indie record label called New and Used Records.  Their music is mellow and uplifting; incorporates both, acoustic and electric instruments and also some very nice vocal harmonies.  I am especially fond of track 2.  You’re not really doing anything, so go ahead and have a listen…

I would like to thank them for making a very difficult week a little bit better.

Eric